i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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