some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
