Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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