so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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