from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
