If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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