I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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