That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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