kristin has been a bad kristin
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
