she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
