everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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