My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My vagina is officially offended.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
