UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
