My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We need to get me chipped asap
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
