How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
