I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
