Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
