I seem to have left my pride at pride
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You are the jesus of drinking
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
