i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
