hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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