I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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