I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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