They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
