Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
