I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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