Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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