I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
