Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
