I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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