hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
