I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh god it's open bar.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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