Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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