she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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