Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
