And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
