just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
