I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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