can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
