its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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