Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
