I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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