I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
