i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
