Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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