Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
