I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
