It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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