hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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