i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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