careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
