Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
