census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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