and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
