remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
