You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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