So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
