I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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