new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
