Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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