why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
