i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The adults are the big ones right?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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