So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize