I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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